And not destroy them.
We are all very afraid of getting bogged down in a routine and that life will become even more uninteresting than it is now. We are constantly chasing new sensations and emotions, trying to prolong the moments of fullness. Therefore, one day to stall in a cloudless, but very painful relationship is a nightmare that haunts everyone who has crossed the line of the candy-bouquet period.
It all starts small: canceling plans to watch a mediocre movie, repeating the same dinners and breakfasts. Gradually, everything turns into an everyday battle with oneself in an attempt to prove that this is what happiness looks like.
How to prevent boredom and escape from the routine without forcing your partner to capitulate from your persistent attempts to stir up your favorite swamp?
The big green giant from the cartoon “Shrek” is each of us who has lived in satiety and relative well-being. No kingdom is needed, I want to lie in the middle of familiar objects and sip on something stronger. It is also desirable to observe only one person inside this shelter. To avoid finally merging with your swamp, force yourself to communicate not only with a partner. Separate trips with friends, large-scale exits to the city, you can even invite guests home. The more faces flash in your life, the slower it gets boring.
The time spent apart, only paints joint leisure. Set aside enough hours for your own interests and hobbies. And here you can include not only sports or well-established hobbies, try to get out on the bachelor boardwalk and try to make a couple of new acquaintances. It’s not about new relationships, just testing your own ability to communicate with potential targets of interest. Coming home will be more pleasant.
So that the spirit of adventurism does not completely disappear, try to come up with spontaneous events for you and your partner. Just be careful not to rush in with suggestions that will scare rather than inspire. Do the preparatory work: think about the unfulfilled dreams and opportunities of your partner, accidentally dropped desires, and so on. Please, first of all, not yourself, but reciprocal gratitude will definitely cheer you up.
Probably, you are engaged in passive charity and transfer money to various good needs. This is also a routine, albeit a socially useful one. Try offering your partner an outing into the real world with a new mission: volunteering at animal shelters, working with young children (especially when your own are long grown), planting trees, and so on. Such shared memories will flourish even in the middle of a desert of sameness.
Into the same river from the other side – mastering the unifying power of fear and excitement. Extreme roller coasters, skydiving or just a very scary movie in a deserted night cinema – the adrenaline that spills out can also highlight the fading energy of a relationship.
Pretend to be someone else, get your partner to play along, and go out into the world. The next few hours of performing in public, backed up by the possibility of pair improvisation (you know your partner like the back of your hand), will entertain you better than any talk about the prospects for a relationship. To the accompaniment of laughter and smiles, you will return home as renewed people, for whom everything is just beginning.
Do not think that if you give your partner the realization of their old fantasy, life will sparkle with new colors. On the contrary, if you didn’t really want this for years, then you will only dig yourself in harder. It is better to formulate something completely new, where everyone will participate equally. This is your new mystery, secret and adventure.