Relationships and marriages sometimes end, sometimes amicably, and sometimes completely unfriendly. After breaks, not only property misunderstandings remain, but also children who are extremely sensitive to changes in the mood and behavior of all family members.
Closing after a breakup and limiting contacts with potential partners is a sure way to the threshold of a person with whom you recently burned bridges. Even if your hermitage is chosen for the sake of children, you risk losing more than you gain. Therefore, do not be afraid of how your loved ones may treat a new girl. The main thing is to competently prepare the ground for acquaintance, and possibly a long and strong relationship.
How to introduce a new person in your life to those who judge categorically and really don’t like it when adults try to be cunning. That is, your offspring.
Don’t become that boy who constantly screamed about the wolf. Be sober in your judgments: try to imagine the future with a new partner – whether it looms into something concrete. If nothing but a light fling is planned, then wasting time and nerves on both sides is a strange move that will only add to your future questions about the status of the relationship.
Don’t plan your first meeting in a too intimate setting, where your kids and new girlfriend will be face to face with each other without a chance to slip away from an awkward conversation. The environment should be more relaxed and familiar to the child in order to eliminate additional stressors. You should not force the situation, it is better to limit yourself to a short meeting in your favorite park or cafe.
No flirting with the words “aunty” and other diminutive forms. Introduce everyone by their first names and don’t rush into lengthy discussions about who everyone is to each other (and perhaps the child has already been warned about a possible meeting). Your task is not to get lost in the maze, but to find the easiest and fastest way out.
Do not demand quick acceptance of the new person and do not neglect the opinions that the child is ready to share with you. The key to a productive relationship is a guarantee that children will not be relegated to secondary roles. Spend time alone, gently consult with them about the new chapter of your life and trust them. Don’t forget to include the second parent in this whole story, so as not to create far-fetched competition between the former and the current one.
Remember that the child in any case will feel strange during such an acquaintance. Therefore, be realistic and do not build fantasies about how in a week you will be walking in the park and riding the rides in one big and friendly company. Do not expect a big return at first, but when a significant amount of time passes (for children, six months is already a period), it will be easier.