How Men And Women Experience A Breakup: Similarities And Differences

What is better – to suffer harder, but quickly or weaker, but for a long time?

For reasons noted by the writer, there are no two identical partings. Many personal factors determine the depth of self-giving and disappointment: how mutual resentment accumulates, how both partners come to a sad decision, react to claims and explanations, how much one is attached to the other, ready to leave her / him, and so on.

But, surprisingly, in the experience of parting, some of the signs inherent in a particular sex are revealed. And the underlying reason for these reasons is exclusively evolutionary.

WHY WOMEN SUFFER HARDER BECAUSE OF A BREAK UP

A joint study by Binghamton University and University College London, which polled about 6,000 participants from 96 countries, determined that women suffer from breakups more than men.

The researchers suggested that the prevailing statistics have a direct connection with evolutionary biology. Women are more selective than men in choosing a partner, because the test of childbearing is not easy and they need to understand for whom to suffer. Initially, women were interested in healthy offspring, which required a father with the appropriate input. Centuries of evolution have refocused the female mind on other parameters, such as material security or good looks, but legibility has remained the same.

In addition, women put more mental and emotional energy into relationships. Science has proven that the female brain is more active than the male, especially in the prefrontal cortex, which is associated with the control of impulses, mood and anxiety. The passive mode network of the brain (SPRM), which is responsible for the ability to remember the past and imagine the future, is also more powerfully developed among the representatives of the weaker sex. Thanks to natural talent, women imagine bright pictures of a joint future already on the first date.

Because of the rich imagination, due to the hard work of the brain and the efforts applied to the selection of a partner, a woman feels the pain of loss more than a man. Unjustified expectations break the heart, because the intended bright future collapses along with the relationship. It is logical to assume that divorce is easier for pessimists – they already suspected that love would not last forever.

WHY WOMEN RECOVER FASTER

However, the intention of nature, as always, turned out to be just. A study from Binghamton University has confirmed that women not only suffer more from the end of a relationship, but also recover faster.

Initial reactions to the decision to part ways certainly vary. Someone longs to return love, someone tries to keep the cell of society, and someone cuts off the relationship immediately and with the calculation forever. This is exactly what the scientifically confirmed majority actually does. A typical female approach is to cut and move on, break the connection, leave and not look back.

If the relationship didn’t work out, what’s the point of delving into past feelings? This bad habit can ruin your mood and plans (yes, again!) for the future. Cut and move on, lovers to strangers. Women decisively delete messages, photos, erase the contacts of ex-friends and successfully pretend that they never knew each other. Longing sufferers for years is a rare phenomenon, an endangered species.

WHY MEN SUFFER MORE EASIER BUT IN GENERAL SUFFER FOR LONGER

As we already know, in the stronger sex of SPRM, emotionality and general brain activity are less pronounced. Men also do not really think about the prospects. Immediately after parting, they, as a rule, feel free, spread their wings and joyfully look forward to how they will again do what they want and walk where they please.

But the triumph of freedom does not last long (demonic laughter). In the said study, it was revealed that men suffer less intensely immediately after a breakup than women, but in the end it takes them much longer to get over the consequences of the breakup and leave their ex in the past. Some reflect for years, not daring to take a new chance.

Scientists here pulled the evolutionary theory. Since the most prehistoric times, men have hunted women, which can still be seen in bars, at parties and, in general, everywhere. And until the need for troglodytes to chase prey disappears for men, the ladies will always have the choice of males. Sorry grooms. This basic instinct gives women an edge and sets men apart.

Some time after the breakup, men begin to think about what they have lost. They tend to warmly recall the connections that they had, and, regretting, realize how beautiful and unique everything turned out. Longing binds men’s hearts even more ruthlessly when they realize that they need to fight again for female affection and re-build an emotional connection. And who wants to hunt, especially if youth passed a couple of decades ago? Men generally don’t like being stressed.

Reflection on the past prevents a man from moving on – he is completely or partially stuck in past relationships. It is this nostalgia that pushes him, for no apparent reason, years later, to unexpectedly write the former “Hi!”. Men’s style is not “cut to hell”, but “wait and hope.” Which is somewhat unfortunate, because the remaining attachment affects subsequent relationships, causing a healthy annoyance in the new partner.

OUTPUT

Without a doubt, the classic is right, and the characteristic features are just generalizations, the favorite pastime of scientists. Every person and every couple is unique. But there is a simple truth that everyone will agree with without exception: breakups suck.