Some men have a good hundred first dates behind them, but with each new one they invariably step on the same rake. Others have practically no such experience at all (for example, because of a long relationship), and they don’t know how to make such an important first impression on a girl.
DorkFuel has collected the biggest mistakes that men make when dating the opposite sex – for everyone who wants to make sure that the perfect date is not a myth, but a reality.
1. Late for a date
If anyone can afford to be late (and no, this is not late), then only a woman. And she has good reasons: to get the perfect make-up, curl her hair into curls, change her mind and straighten it, try on three dresses, jeans with a blouse and a pantsuit, realize that orange pumps do not fit any of the options, burst into tears and completely redo the makeup, it can take much more time than was allotted. But for men, being late is unforgivable: allowing yourself a delay of even some 20 minutes, you risk impressing a girl as an unreliable and simply ill-mannered person.
2. Don’t plan ahead
Even before starting a date, you should already have a clear plan where you will take the girl, where it is best to take a walk, where you will have dinner, etc. Even if the scenario is completely replayed as a result, it doesn’t matter. The main thing is that this very scenario exists at all. Believe me, when coming on a date, not a single girl wants to hear a passive “Have you by any chance thought about what we would do today?”. Any representative of the beautiful half of humanity initially expects an initiative from a man – just put up with it and think over a plan for at least the first few meetings.
3. Don’t care about the girl
Take a look at your chosen one. If she came on a date in high-heeled shoes – most likely, your idea to go around all the best parks in the city, and then turn into an old street covered with cobblestones and walk downhill along it will fail. No, walking outdoors is wonderful. But girls are extremely gentle creatures, and therefore comfort for the vast majority of them means very, very much. And if you don’t want to see tears on the face of your chosen one instead of joyful emotions because of calluses erased to blood, it’s better to stop at the option “have a good time in a restaurant or cinema.” And save active scenarios for subsequent dates – if the girl is really good with you this evening, they will definitely come in handy in the future.
4. Order dishes that are inconvenient to eat
Wings, ribs and other foods that you can’t eat without getting your hands dirty are absolute taboos for a first date. The sauce, striving to “settle” on your chin, while you are focused on nibbling a piece of juicy meat on the bone, obviously will not add pluses to your charm box. And especially squeamish and impressionable young ladies will run away altogether, as soon as they have such an opportunity. Naturally, in this case, you can not even dream of a first kiss.
By the way, even before the first date, try to unobtrusively clarify whether your chosen one is a vegetarian. After all, if the answer is yes, you should take care of finding a good restaurant with a delicious vegetarian menu in advance.
5. Behave selfishly
Naturally, not a single first date is complete without presenting yourself, your loved one in the most favorable light. And this is important: you need to intrigue yourself. But the measure is necessary here, more than ever before: if you talk exclusively about yourself all evening, you risk not seeing your companion again. Moreover, rumors about your talkativeness and arrogance can spread at the speed of light.
For everything to go as harmoniously as possible, follow the proportion of 50/50. In other words, tell some curious fact about yourself, and then ask the girl about something on the same topic. And, importantly, listen to her to the end, and even better – continue to show lively curiosity. Make sure that the date does not turn into an interview: your conversation should bring you pleasure, and not drops of cold sweat appearing on your chosen one’s forehead while you dryly sprinkle questions. In addition, adhering to the proportion indicated above, you will not have to frantically think of what else to discuss, besides yesterday’s rain.
6. Be a critic
Even if your new girlfriend suddenly lets slip that she reads Dontsova avidly, likes to brew tea bags three times and considers football the most boring of games – do not rush to sound the alarm. First dates were invented for this, so that both of you could properly evaluate each other, understand whether you are comfortable together or not. And so calmly
listen and draw your own conclusions. But in no case do not start a heated argument on the topic of personal preferences – you can’t change the girl’s tastes (and, you must admit, it would be completely ugly), but you’ll have time to remember her as a hysterical idiot.
7. Pay attention to other girls
Since your choice fell on this particular girl whom you invited on a date, then be kind, do not show signs of attention to other ladies, do not see off with your eyes and do not evaluate every beauty passing by. Even if you are so loving and all the maneuvers described above occur at the level of male instincts, i.e. almost uncontrollable, then try and gather all your will into a fist, and this evening be with the girl who came to meet you. Otherwise, this may be your last date. Girls have unique peripheral vision, and even if it seems to you that all your “Kazan” views towards other women will go unnoticed, you are deeply mistaken.
8. Reminisce about your ex
On the first date, completely forget about the former – today your story is as clean as a blank sheet. Talking about previous relationships definitely should not be in a bad or good way. In the first case, the girl will note for herself that she is also not immune from unflattering reviews if she suddenly gets into the list of your exes. And in the second, he will think about it: if you speak so well about your past lover, then it is possible that your feelings for her have not yet cooled.
If your new companion herself tries to touch on this topic, do not boil. Tell about the former in a few words, but do it as calmly and informatively as possible. And, of course, be on the alert: if a girl gets into your past too persistently, this is an alarming bell, and it is possible that the situation will only worsen further.
9. Whine incessantly
Trying to pressure a girl into pity is far from the best way to win her over. If not the worst. No – she, of course, will listen to all your heartbreaking stories about how at the age of 6 your beloved dog was hit by a car and you sobbed for two weeks in a row, at school you were periodically mocked by the leader of a local gang, and at work you have not been wanted for three years raise wages. Listen, regret and disappear forever. Because women don’t want losers and whiners – it’s not sexy and not at all reliable. Work on yourself, and you simply will not have time for resentment. Be a man – strong and capable of moving any mountains, or at least striving for this.
10. Be a miser
Believe me, any manifestations of your greed will be immediately noticed and listed as your biggest flaws. So never use a calculator to figure out the “correct” tip amount, and never refuse to pay for a service in principle. Even if the latter was disgusting. And, of course, forever forget about offering to pay equally for dinner. Believe me, it does not paint you from the best side at all.
11. Stay on your smartphone
When you come to dinner, just turn off your phone. Believe me, your chosen one will appreciate this step with much more enthusiasm than if you brought her a bouquet of the most beautiful peonies. No, peonies are, of course, wonderful, and it’s better with them than without them. But your willingness to completely devote your evening to her alone, not for a second being distracted by letters on Facebook and updating the feed on Instagram is worth a lot, believe me.
Naturally, do not forget to also watch the girl: if she doesn’t let go of the phone all evening and you can’t even really see the color of her eyes, because the companion’s gaze is constantly lowered into the monitor, then your person is not at all interesting to her. Yes, you can try to stir it up. But is it necessary, given the fact that you were so frankly beaten up?
12. Don’t end the date nicely.
Everyone, even the most self-confident girls, after saying goodbye to a man after the first date, fall into a state of jitters. “What if he didn’t like me? What if I’m too fat? Damn, I shouldn’t have worn light trousers, they make me look fat. And there was no need to talk about that funny incident – now he definitely thinks that I’m a fool, ”such thoughts often settle in the minds of most young ladies. If you really liked your chosen one and you would like to continue the relationship, put a beautiful end to the date. In other words, before parting, be sure to let the girl know that she intrigued you very much. Any ideas are suitable for these purposes: beautiful words, romantic kisses and, of course, a special SMS that you should send after the end of the date. She will keep this message as a family heirloom, and it is possible that even your future grandchildren will read it.