Low self-esteem is not easy to live with. Lack of self-esteem and constant belittling of one’s own dignity are detrimental to personal life and career. However, psychologists assure: you can easily increase self-esteem and learn to respect yourself. Read how to do this in this article.
The statistics are such that even the salary depends on the level of confidence. Employees who chronically do not believe in themselves receive much less self-confident colleagues. Therefore, in no case should you be led by your low self-esteem and be afraid to move forward. Even the most outstanding personalities go through this fear. Thomas Edison, David Bowie, John Lennon – they were all terribly unsure of themselves and did not believe that they would succeed. However, they did not fold their hands, but continued to do what they were doing. Now their names are known to the whole world. It is quite possible to build self-esteem. Let’s look at how to do this and what to avoid.
What is self-esteem
This concept includes an assessment of oneself, one’s abilities, external data, capabilities, potential, positive and negative qualities. This is not a fixed value; it changes throughout life. And not always in direct proportion to the real achievements of the individual. Rarely is a person able to objectively assess himself. Even the most talented people fall prey to self-criticism, pessimism and the pursuit of an unattainable ideal.
To check how confident you are, see the following list. Psychologists identify the following characteristics of low and normal self-esteem:
Low:
- dissatisfaction with your appearance;
- dissatisfaction with life, work, environment;
- self-criticism;
- constant fear of being wrong;
- painful reaction to comments from others;
- need for approval;
- life according to stereotypes;
- the habit of being offended;
- envy and jealousy.
High:
- loyalty in their strengths and external data;
- acceptance of their shortcomings;
- lack of groundless fears;
- the ability to accept criticism;
- sociability;
- having a strong opinion on various issues;
- striving for development;
- the ability to enjoy your life.
Unfortunately, we do not always have the qualities and skills that we would like. You can remake yourself all your life, trying to achieve a certain ideal. But it’s better to just objectively assess reality and accept yourself as you are.
How to improve self-esteem
1. STOP APPOLOGIZING
You don’t have to apologize for everything. Especially for something that is not your fault. Even if you are late, instead of “sprinkling ashes on your head,” it’s better to just thank the person for waiting.
2. DO SPORT
A simple and rewarding way to become the best version of yourself.
3. KEEP THE IMAGE
If your clothes, shoes, hairstyle and other elements of the image are always in order, you will definitely feel confident.
4. DO NOT STAY IN THE COMFORT ZONE
The best way to overcome fear is to simply do what you fear. For example, forcing yourself to talk to a complete stranger, you will understand that you should not be afraid of communication.
5. LEARN NEW THINGS
The more skills and knowledge you get, the sooner you will stop considering yourself a dim-witted loser. Even minor successes in a new business will motivate you to continue.
6. CELEBRATE THE GOOD
A person is built in such a way that he always concentrates on the negative. It used to be an important survival mechanism, but today it no longer makes sense. On the contrary, the ability to notice the pluses even in the most difficult situation will help you in life. Psychologists advise you to write down all the good things that happened to you in a day or week. Get used to seeing the bright sids and rejoicing at success without dwelling on the bad.
7. EVALUATE YOURSELF OBJECTIVELY
Make a list of all your strengths and weaknesses. For every minus, try to find a plus. If it is difficult to name the qualities yourself, ask for help from relatives or friends. The list of shortcomings will show what needs to be worked on in the future. And the list of advantages must be re-read every time it begins to seem that you are worthless.
Things That Harm Healthy Self-Esteem
DESIRE TO PLEASE EVERYONE
You don’t have to live up to everyone’s expectations. This is impossible in any case. By trying, you can completely destroy your self-respect. Just ignore the opinions of others and be yourself. You will see, it is much easier and more comfortable to live this way.
NOT ACCEPTING CRITICISM
At the same time, you should not completely close yourself off from others. There are probably people whose opinion is really important to you. And also professionals who can give good advice on how to improve the results. Constructive criticism, expressed in a benevolent manner, should be, if not accepted, then at least listened to. The key rule of constructive comments is that they only concern the situation, not your personality as a whole.
SELF-SUPPRESSION
You don’t need to constantly convince yourself. Not that everything is awful, not that everything is fine. In life, different things happen, both good and bad. And you need to be able to respond to them correctly. Somewhere to learn a lesson, somewhere to be happy, and somewhere just to let go and move on.
DEFEAT IN ADVANCE
It didn’t work now, so next time it won’t work out all the more — you think and give up. But it doesn’t work that way. Failure is not a proof of your helplessness, but a source of experience. Analyze what you can do better, and a new attempt will lead to a different result. It is also impossible to project your defeats onto other areas. For example, if you are completely unable to sing, this does not mean that you will not be able to master dancing. You just have to try.
These basic principles are enough for your self-esteem to start growing. However, it takes time to become truly confident. Just don’t give up and keep growing.
