A Piece of Infinity: Review of the Updated Infiniti QX80

We use the planned renovation of the largest Japanese as an excuse to talk about his place in the modern automotive world

As you know, near very heavy objects, time is distorted, flows in a different way. And the Infiniti QX80 with a mass of 2,800 kilograms is just that: it is not only the heaviest, but also the largest among its kind. Only the Cadillac Escalade ESV is longer, and all kinds of GLS, LX, X7 and other Range Rovers seem small fry next to it. Therefore, ten years of the conveyor belt life for this SUV is not a period: a big restyling was, consider, only yesterday (in 2018), and the current update came out purely symbolic.

Although everything here is also not entirely linear. These young people, spoiled by gadgets, will only chuckle condescendingly – but real customers may be confused by the revolutionary changes. Quite recently, they switched from push-button phones to touch-sensitive phones, heroically mastered WhatsApp, seemed to have calmed down – but now they have to deal with everything again.

After all, the only innovation in the QX80 is the center console, which now flaunts two displays, familiar from other Infiniti models. They are about 800 times more modern than the old relic with analog clock and CD slot, but keep in mind: ordering brown wood trim is no longer possible.

Is it a plasma, however? The upper screen with antediluvian navigation maps, low resolution and a faded picture would look quite organic in that very wall. And the lower one, on which “music” and auxiliary functions are now displayed, glares a lot and is instantly covered with fingerprints. In general, there are not so many real benefits from the point of view of ergonomics – the main thing is that the main tasks like controlling heating and climate control remained on the physical keys.

But perhaps it was worth building a garden. The multimedia now supports the Apple CarPlay and Android Auto protocols, so normal, modern navigation can be displayed on the upper display, and the phone can be thrown into the bowels of the central tunnel – just don’t look for wireless charging there, only regular USB and Type-C are given. And there’s also a new dashboard: no longer cartoonish, eye-burning blue backlighting and perfectly readable – and this is perhaps the most useful innovation. Because where the QX80 is supposed to go, there is no need for navigation.

Honestly, there’s nothing to do with this thing in town. Maybe someone flatters his self-esteem, shoving his fellow travelers with monumental sides, but I want to apologize for such involuntary behavior – as if I went down into the subway with a tourist backpack and a snowboard at the ready. The car from the bottom right can be overlooked in principle, the digital salon mirror shows some kind of uninformative picture (the traditional mode, however, is no better), and only the giant mugs of the side mirrors do not allow making very serious holes in the karma. No, it’s better to be free – and be sure to get away from the cameras.

You can only enjoy the Infiniti QX80 in unlimited conditions. It masks the speed so skillfully that below 100 km / h you seem to be standing in a traffic jam and out of boredom fix the shortcomings: vibrations of heavy 22-inch wheels, cotton brakes, an empty and stupid steering wheel … And only on the track, the “date” is revealed as it should – it turns out that he didn’t care about all the potholes and patches, you can hold on to a straight steering wheel with one finger, soundproofing is almost absolute, and in general: they haven’t come up with the attack that can really bother you.

The sensations do not change even closer to the maximum 210 km / h, which this mastodon is gaining with frightening ease. The only engine available is a classic naturally aspirated V8 with 5.6L and 405bhp, and admittedly is amazing. Each start from a place is a powerful dashing jerk. Forgetting about the status, the QX80 crouches aft and jumps forward so dashingly that just hold it: 7.5 seconds to a hundred from the inside seem almost sports car.

And on overtaking you finally understand why he is so healthy. You no longer need to look out for the oncoming lane, absurdly pressing against the left glass: he calmly looked over the entire line, waited for the window – he shot. No doubt, nerves and stress, whatever is happening around. And the worse the asphalt gets under the wheels, the more you begin to appreciate the QX80’s ability to remove passengers from what is happening. It no longer seems outrageously redundant – unless, of course, you look at the on-board computer showing 16-17 liters even on the highway.

Of course, like any car in this class, the QX80 SUV is considered purely nominally. With three tons of mass and asphalt rubber, neither 234 mm under the belly, nor the blocking of the central clutch, nor the lowering row will save him: it will drown, and that’s it. But on hard terrain, even very rugged, Infiniti is doing well: the supply of energy in the suspension is almost endless.

At the same time, by the standards of the class, he also drives well! Yes, you cannot find feedback on a light steering wheel with a hydraulic booster, but the hydraulic roll suppression system does its job perfectly, and the trajectory is written easily, understandably and predictably. More is not required, moreover, huge chairs that do not even try to fix the body in turns will become a natural limiter of your recklessness.

In general, a couple of days away from megacities puts everything in its place. This is not a car, but a monolith – an unshakable lump around which space and time move according to separate laws. It is unlikely that the new screens in the cabin will somehow affect the result, but prices can do it, depending on the configuration, “Date” remains the most advantageous offer in the class.