Questions like “who am I and what is the meaning of my existence?” Probably every person on Earth asked himself. The answers to them especially excite us in our youth, when the personality is just being formed. If you are also interested in the topic of self-knowledge, we suggest reading this article.
Finding yourself: how to understand your desires and find a place in life
It is natural for a person to think about his place and role in this life. Our information about the world around us, people in it and ourselves is constantly updated. Our opinion is changing. When deciding what to do, or choosing a job in life, we must analyze many factors. Indeed, the future often depends on this decision. When something goes wrong, we ask ourselves, have we chosen the right path? To understand what you really want is quite difficult. However, it is possible to do this, and we will tell you how.
To begin with, it is important to give yourself the right to experience desires that go against the opinions of others. We are taught from childhood that one is “good” and the other is “bad.” By adjusting to generally accepted standards, we often push true desires into the background. It becomes a habit. It is already difficult for an adult to understand where his needs are, and where are those imposed by the environment. This is where the personality crisis often arises. The solution will be to recognize your right to individual needs and desires, as well as to analyze the problems that prevent them from being realized. This can be done in several ways.
Find the right time
Usually, the daily hustle and bustle leaves no time for reasoning about the meaning of life. But in case of failure or in a difficult period, such thoughts come to mind. If so, don’t drive them away.
When you made a mistake, quarreled with a loved one, or could not complete the matter, instead of thinking again about how unlucky you were, try to find the reason. Your bad mood may well be beneficial if it helps you understand yourself. Understanding why everything turned out this way is important not only in order to survive and let go of the situation. It will also help you avoid repeating these mistakes in the future.
Not only during periods of despondency, but also at a certain age, we tend to delve into self-reflection. Hormones are raging in adolescents. I don’t want to grow up at twenty or twenty-five. Thirty-year-olds tend to worry that they haven’t achieved anything yet. After thirty-five comes the same midlife crisis. In more mature years, they realize that life has turned out not at all the way they wanted in their youth, and so on. You can have countless such crises during your life. And each of them is a reason to ask yourself: “Am I doing everything right? What do I need to change right now so that later I do not regret the past years? “
Keep a diary
A good way to understand what you want is to write down all the thoughts that visit you. Get in the habit of setting aside ten to fifteen minutes several times a week and just writing whatever comes into your head. In the midst of the flow of information, you will find out exactly what worries you the most. Also, by writing down problems and anxieties, you will feel more in control and less worry.
When alone, in a moment of sadness or at rest, listen to yourself, your feelings. It is especially good to do this outdoors, when nothing distracts. And the noise of water, foliage, the movement of clouds – all this will help to concentrate on the inner voice. You can also start by thinking about a book you recently read or a movie you watched. By analyzing the behavior of the characters, you will project it onto yourself and so you will find some answers.
Write down your desires
In the same diary or just on a piece of paper, you have listed all the dreams that you have left since childhood. Write everything you ever wanted but didn’t implement, even the most ridiculous. Cross out what has completely lost its relevance. Divide the rest into categories: work, relationships, hobbies, education, etc. Imagine that all these desires have come true. Visualize how you will behave, how you will feel, what kind of person you will become.
Let the sensations tell you whether these dreams and goals are really yours, whether it is worth achieving them. Leave only those that evoke sincere positive emotions in you. Add or rewrite the list if necessary. Use it as a guide to action. Start by doing something as simple and emotionally enjoyable as possible. For example, buy a toy that you dreamed of as a child. This will give you a powerful positive impetus to realize harder desires.
Talk to others
Relatives, of course, are able to help you understand yourself. But, in fact, you can talk with unfamiliar people. For example, at psychological trainings. Psychologists offer many exercises to help you understand yourself. For example, this: first you talk about the problem, what worries you. Then the interlocutor shares his opinion: why this problem has arisen, what is your role in it. Further, you either agree with the opinion of the person, or, contradicting him, you yourself will find the answer.
Use all available methods
Specialized literature, psychological tests, working with a therapist, coach or in a group – if you feel the need for deeper analysis, try everything. There is no panacea. And most often it is an integrated approach that allows you to most accurately determine the problem and ways to solve it.
If you think about it, understanding yourself is not so difficult. The main thing is honesty. It’s important to admit what really bothers you. Using the above methods, you will surely find the reason for the mental rush. Then it’s up to you: fix everything that is possible.
Yes, sometimes it takes a lot of courage, effort and time. But the result is definitely worth it. If now you cannot influence the situation in any way, just wait. And situations that cannot be changed in any way, it is better to accept and let go. Let these problems just exist and take the burden off yourself. Your main task is to enjoy life under any circumstances.